Tumbledown Times – the new homegrown Hanford newspaper

Nov 10

Roll up, roll up, read all about it!

Busy UVIth girls have planned, designed and written a new Hanford newspaper, Tumbledown Times.   Editors Amelia, Delphina, Dominie, Liberty and Clara have been flexing their journalistic skills, finding out the latest news, gossip and stories of interest and the result is as impressive as it is entertaining.

Articles include ‘Top Dog’ (spoiler alert: Polly’s dog Dennis is the winner), ‘Pony Puzzle’, ‘Kitchen Nuggets’, ‘Boarding Bangers’ and, perhaps this editor’s favourite, ‘Twice Blended Hanford’ which was written by Coco and copied below.

To find whether Mrs Holden would rather eat 10 doughnuts and get £20 or eat 10 frogs and get £100, be sure to pick up your copy.  Alternatively, you can read the Tumbledown Times in full by clicking here.   

Thank you to Mrs Northey for all her help and advice.


Twice Blended Hanford 

First, take a form and pour

into a blender. Add in music

and laughter after 5 mins

then sprinkle into medium

saucepan. Allow to purée

until fine texture in a

blender again.

Let it cool, then stir

with lacrosse stick,

and roll out with

cricket bat, once it

starts emitting the smell of horse,

is as thick as a science textbook,

and is groaning at the prospect of Latin.

Add in shredded, not torn, wild garlic,

then force the mixture into room,

allow shrieking and giggles, then

take back out again to simmer on hot gravel.

Once browned/red from the summer sun,

take to cool in the library,

then remove again to bake in dorm.

When settled, leave for eleven hours.

Serve with trees, best when sleepy.

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